What do you ask for?

My professional role includes coaching and training, and one of the ways I continually work on myself in that role is by consuming tools and information from other coaches and trainers. I was listening to a podcast recently about career development and the female host who founded the idea of Racial Candor mentioned something that has stuck with me, 

"It's hard to say your dreams out loud."

And this doesn't just apply to work dreams, and so often professional and personal dreams are entwined. 

But, it got me thinking about my own dreams, professionally and personally. 

And one of them is coaching. 

I'm drawn to it. I enjoy it. And I think I'm pretty good at it. 

Not career or professional coaching, more life coaching. 

I like to listen to people's problems. I don't mind being drawn in to their messy lives in order to help them clear some clutter and find paths to walk confidently on. 

I'm a helper, and this is a way that I feel I can help. 

So, I do it often. Whether it is with friends or co-workers.

I was talking to a co-worker recently and something came to me as I listened to her.

This happens to me often. The advice I give, the words I say, have come to me as what needs to be said in the moment. It isn't something I pull out of a vault of phrases or tried and true advice. It is all particular and personal to the moment and how I'm reacting to it. 

She expressed frustration at what life was throwing her away. She talked about her nature, being good, and how she was waiting for that to come back to her. But as she talked she also showed me quite clearly that she was never putting herself first. 

So I told her,

"You aren't asking the universe to give you goodness. You aren't putting yourself first. Good things won't come to you if you're not asking for them, and showing that you're worthy. You continue to put yourself last, and that is how the world is treating you."

She stopped.

"Yeah," She agreed, "I know."

So today, I ask you. What are you asking for? 

What are you putting out that you hope to get back, and is that overshadowed by the face you present to the world.

Are you being authentic?

Are you being true to YOUR needs and not the needs of everyone else?

As a Mother, as  Parent this is the ultimate challenge. 

We throw ourselves in to our children and except happiness in return.

But that's not always the case.

We have to take care of ourselves too. 

My Step Dad teased me on Sunday that instead of making the trek home from NYC post Half Marathon watching, and then heading to a Birthday party for the afternoon he had arranged a spa appointment for me for 3 hours. He'd seen me hauling all over the city, with Ava on my back, a struggling 6 year old at my side, he knew I needed a little self care. 

And the way in which I so deeply wanted that to be true reminded me that I need to prioritize a little self care. 

So I'm going to set up my own spa appointment soon, because, Universe... that's what I'm asking for. And that's what I deserve. 

So, I'll ask again, What are you asking for? What are you putting out there? And are those two things in agreement?