Why I Became a Mother

I don't know that I can say, "I always wanted to be a Mother."

But I was also drawn to mothering tendencies. 

So I guess it was less of a "I want to be a mom!" and more of a "Of course I'll be a mom."

I didn't know going in what it really was to parent. I didn't know how all consuming it would be.

I didn't know how little sleep I'd really get.

I didn't know how deeply invested I would be and what that would mean for my career, friendships and self care. 

I did and still do parent on instinct. I go with my gut, and I truly believe my gut is right. 

From day 1, actually day 2 because day 1 was a hazy post c-section blur, I knew what to do with Emilio, I knew how to care for him and I felt like, "I've got this."

When he got older and sleep was a challenge I researched, I explored, but I still knew the right thing to do was be with and go to my child. 

When I had to choose to go on an annual company trip to Mexico or stay home with my 1 year old I chose to stay home with him...because it felt like the right choice for me. For us. 

I became a Mother because I knew I would know how to do it. 

I became a Mother because I wanted to care for children, I wanted to comfort and soothe them, I wanted to put my all in to raising children. 

I became a Mother knowing that I'd give some things up. Knowing that I wouldn't see all of my friends as often, but I'd make new ones. Knowing that I would put my career on a back burner, but still find success and fulfillment and enjoyment in it. Knowing that my priority for at least the first two years of both my children's lives would be them and not me. 

I truly believe some people are cut out for it. And some are not. 

Yes, I don't believe every person is cut out to be a parent, let alone a mother. 

I get it, you need people to take care of you when you are older. I appreciate that. 

And yes, this is in reference to an article that has been making the rounds. But I'm not going to link to it because I don't want them getting the traffic. 

I became a Mother because I knew there was going to be so much joy in being a parent, for me. 

I became a Mother so I could watch my children grow and discover. 

I became a Mother because there is nothing better than hearing, "Mama?" from my children. 

I became a Mother because I truly love all the messy, dirty, exhausting pieces of parenting.

I became a Mother because I was up for the challenge, because I knew it would be the best path to self awareness and growth. 

And it has been.

I'm a better person for being the Mother I am. 

The sleepless, working mother who is figuring out this balance of parenting completely and still holding on to who I am. 

That's why I became a Mother.